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10 reasons why Heroes is better than 24

January 23rd, 2007

10. 24 takes place on a fairly limited time frame where the audience is expected to suspend belief and accept that CTU can drive from North to South LA in less than an hour during rush hour traffic.  Heroes has a very real time traveler, which makes man-made time frames a thing of the past.

9.  24 has Jack Bauer who acts like a vampire and rips out people’s arteries with his mouth.  Heroes has Sylar eats people’s brains, and probably has a side of fava beans with each course.

8.  24 has Jack Bauer who relies on other people’s skills and techniques to do his bidding.  Heroes has Peter Petrelli who just takes other people’s powers without asking.

7.  24 has Chole who can do amazing things given a computer and an internet connection.  Heroes has Micah a 7 year old that rebuilds motherboard for fun, just think what he can do after puberty.

6.  24 has Jack Bauer who can perform  amazing feats of strength and endurance while under duress.  Heroes has Niki/Jessica who under duress tosses grown men like loose-leaf salads.

5.  24 has Jack Bauer who is always right and no one ever believes him.  Heroes has Isaac the painter who accurately paints visions of the future, that are often interpreted incorrectly or out of order.

4.  24 invokes strange terrorist organizations to be the questionable enemies of the state, and after one group is extinguished by some fool-hearty scheme of Jack’s, is only replaced by another head of the hydra.  Heroes has Horn-Rimmed Glasses Guy and Linderman, ’nuff said.

3.  24 has Jack Bauer who is often injured while performing his stunts in trying to save the world, causing the audience to believe that he can fight through enormous pain and personal suffering.  Heroes has Claire with believable healing powers that continues to fight after breaking ribs, dislocating joints, and even survives an autopsey, plus she’s a cheerleader.

2.  24 has Jack Bauer who uses terse phrases like, “Dammit” and “I need to know this before you die” to extract enemies confessions before killing them.  Heroes has Mohinder who has the power to bore people to death with long winded speeches about evolution and human potential.  He’s just learning to use his powers, but once fully blossomed no one will be safe.

The number one after the break. 1.  24 has Jack Bauer, who carries a man-purse and has man-boobs.  Heroes has hot comic book like girls with real purses and real boobs.

So I guess I know why you’ll be watching Heroes on Monday night, and relegate 24 to the DVR or if you’re still behind the times, a VCR.  Or wait until the DVD comes out, because really, save the world in 24 hours, c’mon who really believes that stuff?

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  1. January 23rd, 2007 at 12:31 | #1

    Not much to say, except you are correct, as usual. LOL

  2. January 24th, 2007 at 11:54 | #2

    Well, Heroes dropped the ball with their latest, boring new episode. Come on…not a thing happened and Christopher Eccleston was totally wasted.

    24 rocked even with the lame revelation that the BlueTooth guy is Jack’s brother. 24 wins, at least this round.

  3. January 24th, 2007 at 11:55 | #3

    Oh and one more thing..Jack Bauer would totally kick all the Heroes’ gluetteous maximuses.

    Cause he’s Jack friggin’ Bauer!

  4. January 24th, 2007 at 13:48 | #4

    You know that Jack Bauer wears Hiro pajamas!

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