The following were headlines in Inside Yahoo! today, and my inner voice responses:

• Obama seeks a personal touch within a huge stadium - most people would shun him as a pervert.
• Officials my evacuate New Orleans as Gustav nears - what did Gustav ever do to them?
• Georgia: S. Ossetia ethnic cleansing nearly done - Phew, at least something are still on track.
• Economy rebounds in 2Q - Yet another quarter without a recession, I feel a little cheated.
• Bill and Hillary, at least, leave the stage - Didn’t we get rid of them 8 years ago?
• Hollywood stars talk politics at Dem convention - A spelling word got missed by the editor its spelled D-U-M-B.
• Microsoft’s newest browser may block ads - May fry your hard drive and send your grandma all your pr0n too.