Ohhhhh where to start…

Jake is tired of war… the card game… get it? Oh such tired cliches so early in the show. We could play crazy-8s.. oh come on, the bar is open all night? I think that Jake and friends must go fill up the generator every four hours or so to keep that joint in business.

We have POWAH! And then all the phones ring at once. While a literary device, the calls would in reality rollout as the system dials out… but Jericho is small, so the telephone company might be able to simu-dial everyone… Not without someone knowing that WORKS at the phone company… but this is Jericho, suspending belief is step one.

Further on suspending relief. A powah surge attacks the library. And since it is an electrical fire the firemen will stand by their hoses until that political lackey of a mayor gets off his rump and shuts down the breaker. Oh, and that breaker, yeah it shuts down the fire pumps too. WHAAAaa? Okay, I’m with the dude that is calling for an investigation. No way! No how! and silliness abound in this whole tepid plotline! *deep breath*

Lets get to the main points. Hawkins, no long content with dial-up, can take his lappy outside and fireup his portable satellite dish to get broadband. And then web-surf on sites where the only readable text is the word security. Also, it seems that the small town of Jericho has muni-wifi, since the power came up everyone flips open their lappy and starts IMing:

dude1: hey, did u c the shroom cloud

dude2: we r so pwned

Actually, no one can do anything because it seems the DNS servers are down, but the wiley teenage miss popular is also a sooper seekrit computer nerd and knows about IP addresses and how the intertubes were made for surviving the big nuclear bubble. She tries one of the IP addresses she’s memorized, you know the one staring with 308, I. kid. you. not. *fume* (okay, plot device like all phones in tv-land use a 555 prefix, get over yerself geekboy!) But that IP has been redirected, to a Government run webite (that is now silently melting, not from nuclear radiation but from overloading… unless they had some super-seekrit mirroring program… okay, I give up, enjoy the show!

Oh.. and Hawkins, used to be a ‘pool guy’ like Jake. Now they can be bestest FF. (Pool guy is code for someone that knows how thing work mechanically, or have a mini-van with a real live electrical plugin in the back.. um.. WHY haven’t these been used in the first six days post armegeddon?

… … … *sigh*

Okay, I’ll just skip all over the municipla services discontinuitys… Michael has done a better job hitting the actual plot points. So I’ll recount, no, is too much, I’ll sum up.

• Eric’s a jerkwad who’ll break both his wife and mistresses hearts, because that is all that matters after a nuclear attack, protecting the knowledge of your infidelities.
• School teachers can call up their kids and start recess whenever they want, so play in the fountain next to the library, don’t worry about the sparking transformer, just keep playing in the puddles.
• Jake is gonna come clean with his dad about where he’s been. okay.. next week, first we gotta drain this scotch and eat mashed potatoes.
• The President doesn’t ever show up on time for television appearances. And because of this, it seems… That retaliation will be delievered without informing the people of the United States.
• Ballasitic missle launches cause earthquakes in Kansas.

Next week, or maybe in weeks to come, the stupoid writers will start actually writing scripts that make sense. (congrats Jericho, though, you got a full season buy, so we have 18 more epis to let the writers practice… go you can do it!)